In Scheswig, Germany, a
girl proves she is ready for marriage by being able to jump across a certain
stream of water. In Nepal, a young girl
must hike two miles uphill with a baby on her back to show she is ready to be a
wife. In many cultures, however, there
are no preparations or requirements that must be met before marriage is
entered. An individual must prove his
capability to drive a car before obtaining a driver’s license. A person is required to meet certain
regulations before he is licensed to fly an airplane. One must complete certain course requirements
and a residency before he is allowed to practice medicine. However, many people conclude that letting
“nature take its course” is all the preparation needed for marriage. This conclusion is faulty as evidenced by the
number of marriages that end in divorce.
What are some qualities that need to be brought to the marriage altar?
A firm commitment.
A young man wanted duplicate copies of his girlfriend’s picture; so, she
took the photo to a photographer to have copies made. The photographer noticed the following
inscription on the back of the picture: “My
dearest Tim, I love you with all of my heart.
I love you more and more each day.
I will love you forever and ever.
I am yours for eternity.” Signed,
Diane. “P.S. If we ever break up, I want this picture back.” Unfortunately, many enter marriage with no
firm intention to make it last. Their
thinking is that if things don’t go well, the marriage can be dissolved and the
same process can be repeated until the “right one” comes along. Zane Alexander wrote a book, the title of
which expresses the faulty view many take regarding the commitment of marriage,
Till Death Do Us Part or Something Else
Comes Up. Jesus affirmed God’s
design for marriage from the beginning when He said that a man is to leave his
parental ties and cleave to his wife (Mt. 19:5). One husband who understood this commitment
said to his wife, “I will never leave
you. Others may come and go in your life
but I never will. For any reason. Ever.
If you wrinkle, I will love you.
If you fail, I will stay with you.
If you get sick, I will feed you, bathe you, sit up with you – anything
– except leave you. I will never leave
you.” That kind of commitment
produces long, happy marriages.
Adequate financial
support. It has often been stated that the number one
cause of marital unhappiness is due to the stresses that result from financial
strain. It is true that “two can live as
cheaply as one” provided one doesn’t eat!
Learn to live within the limits of your income. Count the cost (Lk. 14:28) and budget your
expenses. Discipline yourself to live
within your means. Don’t become a victim
of easy credit.
A willingness to
forgive. All of us make mistakes. We sometimes make thoughtless comments that
injure or hurt the feelings of our mate.
The family often becomes the object of our frustration due to problems
experienced elsewhere. In such times we
need to learn to ask for forgiveness as well as be willing to forgive (Eph.
4:32). One of the most important phrases
of a successful marriage is, “I am sorry.
Please forgive me.”
When considering
marriage, it is important to find the right person. However, it is more important to be the right
kind of person yourself. If you will
bring that to the marriage altar, you’ll have greater success.
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